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Why your own therapy is so important as a counselor

Feb 28, 2022, 00:00 AM
Title : Why your own therapy is so important as a counselor
By line : Scott Gleeson

One stigma Francesca Giordano would like to vanquish in the mental health professions is the notion that therapists do not need their own therapy. Giordano, a retired counselor educator and the principal partner of Veduta Consulting in downtown Chicago, says there may be no greater resource for a clinician 鈥 including supervision and personalized self-care 鈥 than regularly meeting with a therapist. And yet, clinicians鈥 perceptions of themselves in the opposite chair remain a blockade.

鈥淚 think in the history of our profession, there鈥檚 sometimes been a negative association with the idea of being a wounded healer, that by going to our own therapy, we are perceived to be too damaged to help,鈥 Giordano says. 鈥淭hat label gets in the way instead of being able to see a clinician going to a therapist and doing their own continual work as a strength.鈥

Giordano鈥檚 sentiments echo a call to action in the counseling profession that has often been stampeded over by a multitude of available workshops and seminars that focus on clients鈥 needs first. 

鈥淐ounselors are inclined to put clients鈥 interests before everything else,鈥 says Stephanie Burns, an associate professor and coordinator of the clinical mental health counseling program at Western Michigan University. 鈥淭he problem is that counselors can often put themselves last and overlook self-care for themselves. Much like with clients, counselors can avoid help-seeking behavior like therapy because of fear of feeling incompetent and ashamed. It becomes, 鈥業鈥檓 a counselor, so I should be able to handle all of this.鈥 That type of self-sacrifice mindset can ultimately lead to depression and burnout.鈥 

Stephannee Standefer, the associate program director of Northwestern University鈥檚 online master鈥檚 in counseling program, says a clinician can be masqueraded by their own shame in taking a no-counseling approach. 鈥淲hen I hear from students or counselors, 鈥業 don鈥檛 need therapy,鈥 I actually hear them saying they want to distance themselves from their woundedness or pretend it doesn鈥檛 exist,鈥 Standefer says. 鈥淏ut if you don鈥檛 face your own pain regularly, it limits your ability to be an effective counselor.鈥 

Self-awareness over self-demolition 

Like many mental health professionals, Judith Fawell, a licensed clinical professional counselor and certified alcohol and other drug counselor, felt drawn to the field based on her own experience with therapy. The same foundational principles that she developed in her own therapy still foster self-awareness now. 

鈥淎s a therapist, more than anything I鈥檝e learned in school or the field, I draw from my memory working with my own therapist and the wisdom I got from that. It was like having the best mentor and someone who saved my life at the same time,鈥 says Fawell, a recipient of the 2020 Award of Excellence from the Illinois Mental Health Counselors Association.  

鈥淚 saw firsthand how one could benefit from seeing a therapist,鈥 Fawell continues. 鈥淚n essence, my therapy was part of my training too.鈥

Giordano, a member of the 乐博传媒, says that 鈥渢raining鈥 period of counselors doing their own work before entering the profession is wholly necessary. She also thinks it is best to keep therapy ongoing while seeing clients. 

鈥淢y belief is that the relationship you have with a client is the conduit for change, and you have to do your own therapeutic work to use yourself as a vehicle,鈥 says Giordano, a former Illinois Counseling Association president. 鈥淢y philosophy is pretty strong on the importance of therapy and ongoing therapy. Not just for students and young counselors but [for] experienced practitioners. That鈥檚 super important. It鈥檚 a false dichotomy to think that we鈥檝e already done our own work and are 鈥榝ixed鈥 or finished growing.鈥

Standefer agrees that the self-awareness developed from therapy is key. 鈥淲hen I do my own work, I know where I end and where the client begins,鈥 she says. 鈥淚 become aware of my own reactions to a client鈥檚 narrative, and I can hear it in a way that鈥檚 therapeutically effective for the client. I鈥檓 able to challenge my assumptions and raise awareness to countertransference.鈥

Fawell says it is na茂ve to not expect some clients to draw out countertransference and that counselors who are in therapy themselves often have a wider container for the psychological complexities that clients bring into session. 

鈥淎s you help people, clients are going to trigger you in all kinds of ways,鈥 she says. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e going to hit your nerves from the past. You have to work through those in order to be the best helper you can be. Therapy can also help you become self-aware to know whether 鈥 to refer out or not.鈥

Both Fawell, a member of the Illinois Professional Counselor Licensing and Disciplinary Board, and Giordano, a former vice chair on the disciplinary board, say they have noticed a correlation between clinicians who inadvertently harm their clients and clinicians who have not done their own therapy.

鈥淚鈥檓 totally convinced that there鈥檚 a relationship to clinicians鈥 own stress and making poor decisions that affect clients and get them into trouble,鈥 Giordano says. 鈥淚t makes sense. When you鈥檙e not in therapy, it鈥檚 common to use defenses or block problems or even project those problems onto others. When people are in therapy, their relationship to their own problems changes. Having personal problems doesn鈥檛 have to be a bad thing, because then you have an understanding and sense of self and can integrate that into what a client is going through.鈥

Understanding a 鈥榰nified phenomenon鈥

Burns believes counselor care and client care are a 鈥渦nified phenomenon鈥 in that they both hold equal importance to infuse the other. But too much of one form of care tends to not work in the best interest of the client. 

鈥淚t鈥檚 equally as bad if you鈥檙e focused on yourself and not caring for the client as if you鈥檙e too focused on the client and not yourself,鈥 Burns asserts. 鈥淭he more mature stance is to blend the two. That makes for a better, more therapeutic relationship with the client.鈥

鈥淭he best way to accomplish that balance,鈥 Burns notes, 鈥渋s through therapy. 鈥 When you鈥檙e in therapy, you鈥檙e naturally more self-aware of things like compassion fatigue and boundaries. When you鈥檙e more self-aware, you have more room for empathy because you鈥檙e giving the same thing to your clients that you just gave to yourself. Without it, then it鈥檚 easy to get disappointed in clients because of how they鈥檙e managing their life or even feel personally slighted if they don鈥檛 grow.鈥 

Ingo Weigold, a licensed professional counselor at Centennial Counseling Center in St. Charles, Illinois, sees his own individual therapist regularly and has been an active member in men鈥檚 groups over the years. He says he uses his own work as a way to stay humble.

鈥淚 never want a client to think I鈥檓 above them,鈥 Weigold says. 鈥淚 want them to know I鈥檓 sitting with them, exploring with them. That I鈥檓 in the passenger seat. It鈥檇 be so easy to develop a power complex in this field because people come to us at their most fragile states and are trusting. We have to treat that as a privilege, and I believe that entails us doing our own work.鈥

Weigold co-hosts a podcast, Drinks 鈥榥 Shrinks, that aims in each episode to normalize mental health practices and humanize the clinician through exchanges with licensed therapists. It would be 鈥減retty hypocritical if we were to say we鈥檙e above the therapeutic process. Just because we鈥檙e clinicians ,鈥 he says. 鈥淲e go through things just as much as the next person. That鈥檇 be like a mechanic saying, 鈥業 don鈥檛 believe in oil changes. Those don鈥檛 work.鈥欌

Giordano agrees that engaging in individual therapy as a counselor can help to remove any perceived hierarchy because the reflex of facing uncomfortable emotions is already in place to be modeled for the client. 鈥淲hen you do your own therapy, you don鈥檛 necessarily lose countertransference. You still feel it,鈥 Giordano says. 鈥淏ut then you鈥檙e not afraid of it. You can use it to help the client and the therapeutic relationship instead of projecting or going to a safer place above the client out of fear.鈥 

Supervision and counselor friends aren鈥檛 always enough

Marina Harris, a licensed psychologist in North Carolina, meets with a group of fellow clinicians weekly to process different cases and client dynamics. 鈥淵our self-care and support can take many different forms. Every clinician has something that works for them,鈥 she says. 鈥淧ersonally, I turn to my consultation group because these are clinicians I really trust. But at the same time, it鈥檚 not the same as therapy. I support every clinician using their personal intuition of when to do their own therapy.鈥 

Weigold admits that his own therapy can sometimes get put on the back burner, so he makes a conscious effort to supplement it with his clinical supervision sessions. 

鈥淪upervision isn鈥檛 therapy,鈥 Weigold admits. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a weird mix of therapy processing of clients and coaching. It鈥檚 more neutral and asking the question, 鈥榃hy am I feeling countertransference?鈥 But it鈥檚 not necessarily processing. We want to be self-actualized and continue growing as we鈥檙e seeing clients and going to supervision about clients.鈥

Standefer expresses concern for clinicians who rely solely on supervision and for supervising clinicians who inadvertently become therapists to their supervisees. 

鈥淪upervision has four purposes: administrative, knowledge base of cases, ethics and ensuring client well-being. Counselor well-being doesn鈥檛 fall under that list,鈥 Standefer points out. 鈥淚f we鈥檙e taking up the time in supervision doing our own therapy, all four of those parts of supervision become weakened. You lose, the supervisor loses, and the clients lose. We鈥檙e cheating ourselves if we don鈥檛 do our own work before we come to supervision.鈥 

鈥淚t鈥檚 very hubris[tic] and prideful for a supervisor to think that they can grossly overstate their role to be both a supervisor and a therapist to clinicians working under them,鈥 Standefer adds. 

Giordano notes that supervision has limitations when it comes to vulnerability because clinicians can get wrapped up in protecting their self-image with colleagues. 鈥淣o matter how good your supervision or consultation is, there鈥檚 always that impression management component, that piece of trying to impress a boss or colleagues,鈥 she says. 鈥淲ith a therapist, you can get more real and go deeper on something a client brought up or something separate you鈥檙e going through.鈥 

Regardless of whether counselors turn to their own therapy or trusted confidants, it is essential for them to be in a space where they can be their authentic selves and remove any mask, Fawell says. She experienced this firsthand when suffering a personal loss. 鈥淲hatever the outlet, you鈥檝e got to be able to be vulnerable,鈥 she says. 鈥淲hen my son was killed, I spent a lot of time with someone I [could] trust.鈥 

Exuding therapeutic growth versus self-disclosure 

Although destigmatizing mental health is necessary in the field, Harris says self-disclosure with clients about doing individual therapy as a clinician is not always wise. 

鈥淭o me, that鈥檚 more of a case-by-case and situational basis,鈥 she says. 鈥淲e always have to ask [ourselves] with that, 鈥楢m I sharing this to help the client and in their best interest? Or is it for a different reason?鈥 One way I鈥檒l get around that is [sharing] with my clients that skills are to be learned and there are still things I鈥檓 working on. For instance, that nobody has a perfect self-care regimen.鈥

Burns agrees. 鈥淲e do have to be really careful with self-disclosure because it has the ability to enhance the alliance or make it problematic because a lot of the worries or concerns or judgments about therapists being in therapy come from clients who don鈥檛 know how and why that鈥檚 healthy and good for their experience. They might start probing the counselor to where you鈥檒l have to redirect the focus back to the client. Research shows that self-disclosure is highly problematic, so it has to be in the best interest of the client.鈥 

Weigold says counselors鈥 self-disclosure of their own therapeutic work becomes unnecessary when they can 鈥渨ear鈥 it or exude it with quiet confidence and noticeable self-awareness. 鈥淐lients can feel when you鈥檝e done your own work as compared to just reading it out of a book,鈥 Weigold says. 鈥淓ven if you don鈥檛 say anything out loud, they can feel you鈥檝e been there or know a little bit about what they鈥檙e going through. You can show them you鈥檝e come out on the other end or are growing in the moment. I know if I didn鈥檛 have my own therapeutic journey, I wouldn鈥檛 be able to connect with clients the way I do.鈥 

Fawell concurs. 鈥淲hen a client says to me, 鈥榊ou鈥檙e so real,鈥 I think that鈥檚 their way of knowing I get them. Well, I鈥檓 so real because I鈥檝e done what they鈥檙e doing.鈥

Standefer says her two decades in therapy often speaks for itself through a similar form of realness. 鈥淸Carl] Jung talks about the shadow self. I feel like we can only bring out the light when we test it out in reality, dissect it and reframe it. That is not something we can teach. You have to do it yourself first, and then [clients] can feel that energy.鈥 

Talking about our own therapy

Standefer says that whenever she shares with students or counselors-in-training that she still sees a therapist, she experiences a 鈥渧ulnerability flash.鈥

鈥淓very time I say it, that I鈥檓 in counseling myself, I鈥檓 very aware of what I鈥檓 putting out there, that I鈥檓 being judged,鈥 she says. 鈥淏ut I鈥檝e come to a place where I think it鈥檚 important for the benefit of other people because it changes people鈥檚 perception of 鈥榮he鈥檚 arrived鈥 to more of 鈥榮he鈥檚 arriving.鈥 If I don鈥檛 express [that] I鈥檓 in therapy, then I鈥檓 subject to believing what others might project onto me. I want students to see my vulnerability in that way because it can normalize therapy in the field and encourage them to not keep their best tools in the toolkit in being their vulnerable selves.鈥

Giordano says there is a macro impact when counselor leaders discuss doing their own therapy on a micro level. 鈥淚t鈥檚 so important for counselor educators to talk about their own therapy,鈥 she says. 鈥淏ecause not mentioning it at all then reenforces the stigma, and [students] can develop this distortion that older clinicians don鈥檛 seem to need therapy, so they can stop their own hard work while they鈥檙e being available for clients. It鈥檚 actually the opposite. Doing your own work is what empowers you to be available to clients.

鈥淲e have to get past these ideas that someone needs therapy because they鈥檙e inexperienced or having a problem. We need therapy because we鈥檙e human and this is complicated work.鈥 

Giordano adds that the modeling that comes from therapy has a trickle-down effect from a cultural perspective as well. 鈥淚f a therapist represents a cultural group that isn鈥檛 known for going to therapy, whether that be race or gender, then the value of modeling takes on an added layer,鈥 she explains.

Burns points out that private practices cannot necessarily mandate that clinicians do their own work, but it can be heavily implied or suggested. 

鈥淭he workplace culture matters,鈥 she says. 鈥淩esearch has suggested that age isn鈥檛 a factor on whether clinicians take care of themselves with self-care. What is a predictor is working conditions in a workplace setting. That means it really does start from the top and [it] puts an emphasis on not just supervisor support but supervisor modeling and leadership with boundaries and one鈥檚 own therapy.鈥

 

Note: The author previously held professional relationships with multiple clinicians quoted in this article.

  ****

Scott Gleeson is a licensed professional counselor for DG Counseling in the Chicago suburbs, specializing in trauma and relational dynamics. He spent more than a decade writing for USA Today, where he won national writing awards from the Associated Press and NLGJA: The Association of LGBTQ Journalists. His debut contemporary novel, The Walls of Color, will be published in 2023.

**** Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the 乐博传媒.
Department : Features
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  • Professional Counseling
  • Wellness & Self Care
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