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Stumbling blocks to counselor self-care

Feb 23, 2015, 00:00 AM
Title : Stumbling blocks to counselor self-care
By line : Laurie Meyers

As a counselor, which of the following elements are absolutely essential for you to do your job well?

a) Thorough grounding in counseling methods and techniques

b) A strong sense of empathy and compassion

c) Adequate sleep

d) Regular vacations or breaks

e) All of the above

The correct answer is e) All of the above. You probably knew that already. But do you also think that answers A and B far outweigh the importance of C and D? If so, you may not be tending to your own wellness the way that you should. All counselors need to regularly engage in a healthy self-care routine to help mitigate the very real risk of .

Many people struggle to attain a healthy work-life balance. Counselors often work with clients toward achieving that balance by helping them understand the concept of self-care and how to nourish wellness. But sometimes counselors get so busy and focused on helping others that they neglect to monitor their own wellness. Counselors may also operate under the assumption that their training and emotional insight somehow inoculate them against burnout 鈥 or at least help to prevent it. That is a fallacy. Counseling, like other helping professions such as medicine, nursing, psychology, social work and teaching, has a high burnout rate. Individuals in each of these professions are at greater risk for burnout because of the empathic and close relationships they must form to do their jobs.

鈥淚t鈥檚 important for people 鈥 for counselors in particular 鈥 to realize that this is hard work,鈥 says Gerard Lawson, an 乐博传媒 member and associate professor of education at Virginia Tech. Though counseling work is not typically physically demanding, emotionally it can take a toll, he says.

Research has shown that the strength of the therapeutic relationship between the counselor and the client is the most important predictor of successful outcomes. But forming, maintaining and operating within that bond are not easy tasks, notes Lawson, a licensed professional counselor (LPC) who studies counselor wellness and burnout. Due to the nature of counseling work, this bond is often forged with people who are struggling or in pain. Confronting those emotions day in and day out can take a toll over time, sometimes leading to vicarious trauma, Lawson explains.

鈥淲e are seeing some of the hardest things,鈥 says 乐博传媒member Elizabeth Venart, an LPC and director of The Resiliency Center of Greater Philadelphia, where she practices and also provides trauma and resilience training to other mental health professionals. 鈥淲e often meet people at the worst times in their lives.鈥 In addition, the essential professional component of empathy is the 鈥渃onduit鈥 through which other people鈥檚 experiences can profoundly affect counselors, she says.

On top of that, it鈥檚 hard not to want to 鈥渇ix鈥 every client, says Charles Crews, an 乐博传媒member and associate professor in the Texas Tech University College of Education. Although it sounds clich茅, many times counselors really do care too much, he notes. 鈥淭hey want to help every single person who comes in,鈥 he says.

Although counselors should want to help every client, when a client isn鈥檛 progressing, it can be easy to become disenchanted or hardened, says Crews, whose doctoral dissertation focused on counselor burnout. Less experienced counselors may also start to battle discouragement, doubting themselves and their skills, he adds.

Jennifer Sharp, an 乐博传媒member and assistant professor at Northern Kentucky University, says that many of her students come in wanting to change the world. 鈥淭hey don鈥檛 understand the barriers,鈥 she says. 鈥淲e come in [to the profession], and we don鈥檛 have realistic expectations.鈥

乐博传媒member Jonathan Ohrt, an assistant professor in the counselor education program at the University of South Carolina, agrees. He says that counselors-in-training need to give serious consideration to what their professional lives might look like, taking into account their individual work styles, interests and values. Understanding the potential challenges of the work environment for counselors is also particularly important because factors such as inappropriately heavy caseloads, inadequate supervision and poor peer support have a significant influence on burnout rates, say Ohrt and Sharp.

鈥淲e don鈥檛 necessarily think about what specializations we might be best at,鈥 Ohrt says. He adds that students should ask themselves, 鈥淲hat is my job satisfaction if I work in this setting? Will I be happy? Will I be able to work with addiction? Am I going to be comfortable working in school settings where teachers, the principal and parents are all pulling me in different directions?鈥

Ohrt says graduate students should also ask themselves the ultimate question: 鈥淒o I want to be a counselor?鈥

Signs of burnout

Having realistic career expectations might help newer counselors to prepare for some of the job鈥檚 stresses, but even established counselors need to understand the signs of impending burnout and the steps they can take to avoid it.

According to Lawson, who served as chair of the 乐博传媒Task Force on Counselor Wellness and Impairment several years ago, research shows that burnout has three stages.

Emotional exhaustion: Every counselor experiences a bit of exhaustion at one time or another. But when practitioners feel drained as soon as they step through the office door, even with plenty of sleep and after time away to get recharged, that鈥檚 generally a sign of emotional exhaustion, Lawson says.

鈥淪ometimes in session, you can see counselors might steer away from a topic that they know is going to be difficult to talk about because they just can鈥檛 do it,鈥 he says. 鈥淭hey don鈥檛 have anything left there to give to this client, and that鈥檚 not good for the client.鈥

Depersonalization: At this stage of burnout, counselors start viewing clients not as people but as cases. 鈥淪ometimes it slips into our language,鈥 Lawson notes. 鈥淵ou鈥檒l hear counselors talk about 鈥業 have another borderline this afternoon.鈥欌

Lawson acknowledges that this may occasionally be nothing more than a kind of shorthand in the counselor鈥檚 language. But usually, he says, it鈥檚 more serious, indicating that the counselor is no longer connecting with clients as people and instead reducing them to their problems.

Reduced feelings of accomplishment: At this stage of burnout, a counselor feels that whatever he or she does won鈥檛 make a difference. The counselor has, in effect, 鈥渃hecked out,鈥 Lawson says.

Other signs that a counselor is burning out can include a decreased level of involvement with family and friends, a failure to engage in normal social activities and increased instances of tardiness or absenteeism. Sharp says that counselors in a downward burnout 鈥渟piral鈥 may also display the inability to handle crises and a noticeable increase in negativism, cynicism and defensiveness.

Burning bright, not out

鈥淚 don鈥檛 know that there鈥檚 a specific antidote to how I keep [burnout] from happening to me, which is why we focus so much on wellness when things are going OK,鈥 Lawson says.

An emphasis on wellness helps counselors to build up their emotional resources so they will be better able to handle bumps in the road when they occur, Lawson emphasizes. Counselors can do a number of things to engage in self-care. Maintaining professional boundaries, seeking supervision and support from colleagues, drawing a clear line between home and office, participating consistently in activities and hobbies, and taking regular vacations are all important parts of the wellness picture.

Perhaps nothing is more important to maintaining counselor wellness than refusing to navigate professional issues in isolation. That is why it is so critical that practitioners actively seek out peer support and ongoing supervision, Lawson says.

鈥淏urnout is a long-term process, a long-term degradation,鈥 he says. 鈥淏ut compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, those things can happen very quickly. Good clinical supervision is top of the list [of preventive measures] 鈥 having someone you can debrief with, someone to help you shoulder the burden. And for people who aren鈥檛 in supervision, [having] a colleague or a peer [whom] you can turn to and consult with or debrief with, even if it鈥檚 not a formal supervision-type relationship.鈥

Lawson emphasizes that the supervision should be clinical in nature. 鈥淚 think in our world, supervision has become a product of being sure that all the boxes are checked and all the t鈥檚 are crossed and all the i鈥檚 are dotted,鈥 he says. 鈥淎nd that鈥檚 important to get reimbursed for the work we do and to be sure that we鈥檙e complying with all the expectations. But good clinical supervision is different from that, and that鈥檚 where a supervisor is able to ask, 鈥榃hat鈥檚 happening in the work you鈥檙e doing for this client?鈥 and 鈥楬ow are you doing working with this client?鈥欌

If a direct supervisory relationship isn鈥檛 possible, counselors should look at the alternative resources available to them, Sharp says. 鈥淔or example, in school counseling there are not a lot of opportunities for supervision. But one of the things I would do is talk to a more senior school counselor and set up a time twice a month to talk,鈥 she explains. Sharp adds that if a counselor doesn鈥檛 have any colleagues within the same school, he or she could look to other schools within the district to find a senior-level counselor.

If counselors don鈥檛 have supervisory resources, they should turn to a colleague or peer, Lawson says. Ultimately, what matters is that counselors have someone they can check in with to gain perspective or just to talk to about how certain clients are affecting them.

Venart leads a regular supervision group for counselors who are working to obtain their licensure. Through the years, several group participants have decided to continue meeting together for peer supervision even after completing their licensure hours. Venart stresses the importance of educating new counselors to view supervision as an ongoing, careerlong necessity. She suggests that counselors look for colleagues to connect with in their current workplaces, from former jobs or past professional trainings, or perhaps among the people they met in their graduate programs.

While working on his dissertation, Crews found that if counselors felt they were part of team 鈥 even one of their own making 鈥 it seemed to have a beneficial effect on their job satisfaction and degree of wellness.

Lawson concurs. His research has concluded that participating in professional organizations plays an important role in peer support, and counselors who are part of such organizations are generally more 鈥渨ell.鈥

Accepting limits

In addition to offering encouragement, supportive peer groups can help counselors to recognize and accept their boundaries and limitations. This is important because one of the difficult realizations about being a counselor is that it鈥檚 not possible to help everybody, Lawson says.

鈥淚 think part of the struggle for counselors is when they meet somebody and they want desperately to help them solve their problem,鈥 he says. 鈥淪ometimes we counsel people who have problems that are not really solvable.鈥

He explains further: 鈥淚 am thinking specifically about things like domestic violence or intimate partner violence. I may meet with someone who is experiencing intimate partner violence 鈥 and they鈥檙e going to go home to the same violent situation because it鈥檚 unsafe for them to leave. [When under no legal mandate to report] I have to sit with that week in and week out knowing that I can鈥檛 solve that problem. So I need to have good boundaries about what I can do and what I can鈥檛 do. 鈥 For me to become more and more invested in them doesn鈥檛 help them more. It just means that it takes a greater toll on me.鈥

When the need is so great, it is easy for counselors to convince themselves that just a little more time or effort, either in the office or outside of it, will solve all the client鈥檚 problems, observes Crews. 鈥淚 work with traumatized kids, and it is really hard not to want to get more involved in their lives,鈥 he says.

However, in his practice and in his role coordinating the school counselor program at Texas Tech, Crews has learned that no counselor can control what happens in a child鈥檚 life outside of the counseling office. 鈥淥ften, school counselors are dealing with parents who do not understand what is going on with their child. You do all this work with [the child] from 8 to 4,鈥 he says, 鈥渂ut then they go home.鈥

Addiction counseling is another area that requires counselors to have a firm grasp of what they can and cannot do, Crews notes. 鈥淐ounselors get tired out. They [feel like they] keep banging their heads against the wall because their clients relapse, but that is the nature of addiction,鈥 he says. That doesn鈥檛 mean that clients struggling with addiction can鈥檛 be helped, but relapse is often part of the process, and counselors need to be able to make peace with that, Crews says.

Counselors also need to recognize when they have reached their limits. 鈥淚 think one of the things that is really difficult for counselors is to say that 鈥業 can鈥檛 take on another individual who is experiencing such trauma or immediate risk, and there are a lot of good folks out there who can do that work,鈥欌 Lawson says. He emphasizes that it is crucial for counselors to realize these limitations before a potential client becomes an ongoing client, however. Disrupting the therapeutic alliance after it has developed can be damaging for the client.

Other times the solution might involve some creative scheduling rather than putting a moratorium on certain types of clients. 鈥淚 had a period of time when I had many depressed adolescents on my roster in my practice,鈥 recounts 乐博传媒member Stacey Chadwick Brown, a licensed mental health counselor with a private practice in Fort Myers, Florida. 鈥淭hen I noticed that when I had six depressed teenagers in a row on one day, I got depressed.鈥

Brown didn鈥檛 want to turn any of the adolescents away, but she knew she needed to make some adjustments to safeguard her own mental health. After giving the situation some thought, she realized she just needed to spread the clients鈥 sessions throughout the week rather than scheduling them all on one day.

Sometimes, tweaking schedules can help counselors who are feeling overwhelmed. But other times, caseloads are simply too heavy, and that can be detrimental to both practitioners and their clients, Lawson says. 鈥淵ou have to have pretty good judgment and be able to say, 鈥業鈥檓 already working 60 hours a week. I鈥檓 probably not the best person to take on this next client.鈥欌

In certain environments such as large practices, clinics or agencies, counselors may not have total control over the number of cases they are handling, notes Sharp, a national certified counselor and former school counselor. However, with some planning, counselors may still be able to set some boundaries, she says.

鈥淐ounselors need to be careful about what boundaries they can set without putting their jobs at risk,鈥 she cautions. 鈥淸But] there are small adjustments you can do to make things more manageable, such as not scheduling things after 6 p.m. or not working 10-hour days.鈥

Work and life in harmony

Another boundary proves exceedingly difficult for many counselors: leaving work at work and embracing some true downtime.

It took Brown a while to learn how to separate her work from her personal life. 鈥淲hen I was younger, my worldview was different. I thought I could do anything,鈥 she recounts ruefully. 鈥淥nce I had my first baby, I guess I was just exhausted 鈥 and still working. I think that鈥檚 when things changed for me. That鈥檚 when I realized I had to compartmentalize more.鈥

Whereas Brown had previously responded to clients in the middle of the night, she decided to stop putting herself 鈥渙n call.鈥 Instead, she made sure her clients had resources for off-hours crises and informed them she would check in with them the next morning. Brown also stepped up her self-care by making sure she got enough sleep, eating well, getting exercise and taking extra walks in between counseling sessions with clients.

But there was another instance when Brown felt the need to step away from her work for a week to regroup. It occurred when the mother of one of her clients died in an accident that was both extremely traumatic and very public. Brown didn鈥檛 know the woman鈥檚 mother directly, but the combination of her tangential connection to the woman and the tragic circumstances behind her death made Brown feel that she was experiencing secondary trauma.

Part of that had to do with the shocking and public nature of the story. 鈥淚t was in the news everywhere, and everyone was talking about it, but I couldn鈥檛 say anything,鈥 Brown recounts. She realized that she needed to take a step back and reground herself professionally, which included increasing her focus on self-care. Among other steps, she met and talked things through with colleagues whom she regularly turns to for support.

鈥淯sually what we do as counselors is say, 鈥業鈥檒l take on this client, this committee or this task, and I know I have to give something up to have time to do it,鈥欌 says Lawson. 鈥淎nd the stuff that we give up is the stuff that鈥檚 good for us 鈥 like sleeping and time with friends and vacations and all of those things that we know are good for us.鈥

鈥淚 think counselors are notorious for not taking time off, and we have convinced ourselves that we are indispensable in the lives of our clients,鈥 he continues. 鈥淎s a result of that, we don鈥檛 take a week or two weeks off to go recharge our own batteries, and the results can be pretty dire.鈥

Lawson acknowledges that leaving work behind can be difficult but says counselors can take some intentional small steps to do just that. 鈥淚 think it鈥檚 really important for folks to have rituals for how they take care of themselves,鈥 he says. 鈥淧art of that is how do they leave work at work and not take it home with them? So, even with my students, I recommend that when they get home from their internships or when they get home from their work, the first thing you do when you come through the door is change clothes so that you can literally shed the day. I hate to say it this way, but [it鈥檚] so you don鈥檛 take the 鈥榬esidue鈥 of work home with you. You put on comfortable clothes 鈥 clothes that you鈥檙e going to want to spend time with your family in.鈥

Lawson also knows many counselors who maintain rituals for 鈥渃losing time鈥 at the office as part of their self-care routines. 鈥淪ome people have plants in their office, and the last thing they do in the evening is water the plants and tend to them,鈥 he says. 鈥淚t is sort of a very grounding thing for them. It鈥檚 a nurturing thing, but it鈥檚 also a closing sort of ceremony for them at the end of their day.鈥

Other counselors like to leave a clean desk, clearing papers and charts and putting away files. 鈥淭hen, when you lock that file cabinet, it鈥檚 sort of a symbolic 鈥業鈥檓 putting that stuff aside so that I can move on and go home without it,鈥欌 Lawson says.

Lawson asserts that when counselors incorporate a deliberate process of leaving the day behind, they鈥檙e less likely to take work home with them too often.

Lawson has a personal story that he keeps in mind: 鈥淢y grandfather was a police officer back in the days when they didn鈥檛 have radios, so they had call boxes around town,鈥 he recounts. 鈥淭he police officers would carry around these call box keys, and when [my grandfather] got home, he would hang up that key and would be done for the day.鈥

Crews鈥 wife teaches theater, where a common directive is, 鈥淟eave your issues offstage.鈥 Crews has altered that advice and adopted it as his mantra: Leave it at the door.

鈥淚 had an actual floor mat that said, 鈥楲eave it at the door,鈥欌 Crews recounts. 鈥淚t was a very physical thing. If I wiped my feet, I could leave it there and go on.鈥

Venart suggests that counselors try 鈥渨riting and ripping鈥 to help them close the day and leave their work at work. She thinks that the practice of writing about whatever was stressful that day and then ripping up the pages and throwing them away offers a symbolic ritual to help release whatever stress has accumulated. Venart also recommends visualization. For example, counselors might imagine a strong container in which they can transfer the stressful events and emotions from the day. Counselors can then 鈥渟eal鈥 the container, lock it and put it away somewhere safe.

Leaving room for play

The ability to leave work behind, both physically and mentally, is essential to counselor wellness, and one element that goes hand in hand with that goal is making time to engage in activities that are personally enjoyable, Lawson says.

Some counselors find physical activities to be most helpful, while others enjoy tackling pursuits that sharpen the mind without being related to work.

Lawson likes to take a break from textbooks and other professional publications and read purely for pleasure, while Crews prefers playing video games and going out and being social.

Brown embraces her creativity. 鈥淚鈥檓 a crafter and a painter. That is really my therapy, my Zen,鈥 she says. 鈥淲hen I am doing artwork, I am fully present.鈥

Venart is a proponent of grounding work, such as connecting with the body through deep breathing, posture and movement. She鈥檚 also a certified 鈥渓aughter yoga鈥 instructor. (鈥淚t鈥檚 an actual thing!鈥 she exclaims.) The practice incorporates playful group exercises, laughter and deep yoga breathing. 鈥淩esearch has found that whether you are actually laughing or faking laughter, the [physiological] result is the same,鈥 Venart explains.

Sharp advises counselors to embrace whatever brings them joy, community and a sense of belonging because those elements go a long way toward achieving wellness. 鈥淒evelop a life outside work that is fulfilling,鈥 she says, 鈥渂ecause that can be a buffer and carry you through when work is not a source of fulfillment.鈥

Small town, big fishbowl

Practicing in a rural or small community poses a particular set of challenges to a counselor鈥檚 wellness, say Deborah Drew and Mikal Crawford, both of whom practice in, live in and have studied small rural communities. In these communities, counselors are isolated, yet never alone 鈥 and that鈥檚 not always a good thing.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e living in a fishbowl,鈥 says Crawford, who has previously presented with Drew on the ethics of self-care in small or rural communities at the 乐博传媒Conference. 鈥淲hen you鈥檙e living in the same community where you work, your personal life is exposed on a regular basis.鈥

It is difficult for counselors in rural or small communities to completely set aside work. Seeing clients at the gym, in the grocery store, on community committees, in clubs or at church is a regular occurrence, Crawford notes.

鈥淚t鈥檚 like, where do I go to let my hair down?鈥 Drew exclaims, voicing a common lament.

Some practitioners cope with this fishbowl effect by finding social outlets in another community or by doing small things such as going to the grocery store or the doctor鈥檚 office somewhere else.

But the reality is that it is hard for counselors to truly relax when they鈥檙e constantly navigating such tricky boundaries, Drew and Crawford say.

鈥淭here is no such thing as avoiding dual relationships in rural areas,鈥 Drew says, adding that they can pop up when a counselor least expects them. For example, Crawford says, imagine bringing on a new client, beginning to work with that client, then taking your car to the repair shop and finding out that the client is your mechanic.

The dual relationship could happen even closer to home. For example, the sole school counselor might have a child or relative who is also a student at the school, Drew says.

Sometimes, counselors in small or rural communities even discover that they are counseling two clients who are related to each other, Drew says. This circumstance is especially tricky because if the counselor discloses the link to the clients, the counselor could be breaking confidentiality. On the other hand, client A may disclose information in session about client B that client B hasn鈥檛 chosen to share with the counselor. At some point, the counselor will need to decide how 鈥 or whether 鈥 to manage seeing both clients. In some cases, it might be best to refer one or both clients, Drew says.

In these communities, seemingly everyone is connected by fewer than six degrees of separation, yet counselors often lack professional connections of their own, Drew and Crawford say. Counselors may have few colleagues to consult with and even fewer specialists to refer to. Practitioners in these communities have to learn to be generalists so they can handle a variety of needs, Drew explains. Counselors who are practicing or wish to practice in a rural area or small community need to ask themselves if they can learn to be OK with such challenges, Drew advises.

But for their own wellness, counselors in these environments still need to have people they can talk to about living and working in rural areas and who can help them work through the challenges, Drew says. She and Crawford recommend that these counselors seek out other mental health professionals, even if it involves driving a substantial distance. For example, Crawford cites a group of women practitioners that she talked to while doing research. They all lived and practiced in rural Vermont and New Hampshire and formed a support group that met monthly in a centralized location.

Professional organizations are also an important source of support, Drew and Crawford say, noting that in Maine, the rural practitioners are often the most active members in the state counseling association.

But they stress that counselors practicing in these comparatively isolated areas need additional support from colleagues and support networks to properly care for themselves and their clients. These counselors also need to be particularly intentional about practicing self-care by regularly engaging in activities that they enjoy.

At the same time, Drew and Crawford think that most counselors-in-training don鈥檛 truly understand how different it can be to practice in a small or rural area. Thus, they aren鈥檛 adequately prepared for the challenges 鈥 both personal and professional 鈥 that they will face.

鈥淚 think there is not enough training in the counseling profession that is specifically for rural areas,鈥 Crawford says. 鈥淚 think we need to focus on that. How can I not just survive in a rural area but thrive?鈥

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To contact the individuals interviewed for this article, email:

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Laurie Meyers is the senior writer for Counseling Today. Contact her at lmeyers@counseling.org.

Letters to the editor: ct@counseling.org

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